When you go through a breakup, it feels like an emotional earthquake. And like other natural disasters, recovery is not instantaneous. Instead, it takes time to rise from the ashes.
In this time, you may experience a wide variety of emotions, sometimes even changing moment to moment. This is normal, and this should lessen as time goes on.
As you ride out this rollercoaster of emotions, remember you are not alone. So, so, so many people experience this each day. Look around and identify your community — is it a close-knit group of friends? People who participate in a hobby with you? Your family? Community is a lot more broad than it used to be. It’s not just the people who live closest to you or that you’re related to, it is the people you identify most with. Whether in-person or digital, your choice communities are here to help you persevere.
Breakups, while devastating, are something that so many people experience each day. And although it is still heartbreaking, there is camaraderie in your breakup recovery.
How to Heal From a Breakup
There’s no shortcut to making this hurt less, but there are a number of things we find helpful to bear in mind as you heal from your breakup.
Here are five things to know when you’re recovering:
Know your goals. Having a road ahead of you helps to keep you focused on your future, not dwelling on your past. Think of something specific you’d like to do, see, or achieve. Write down some concrete steps to take that will help you get to your goal — and then do it. This will not only serve to give you something else to think about and look forward to, but can also anchor you in another opportunity for growth.
Know what brings you joy. In times like these, it’s critical to remember what makes you happy. It can feel hopeless sometimes, like the world is a little less bright and colorful, which is why it’s so important to identify things you enjoy and seek them out. We know it can feel like a struggle, but even small things help.
Know your self. Particularly in long-term relationships, it’s not unusual to begin to feel your identity melding to your significant other. You’re their person. You both love sci-fi and hot Cheetos, or rainy days and John Mayer. But remember that you are an individual beyond your partner. What are the things that make you unique? What are the things important to you? This is a great time to take stock of your values, and reflect whether they’re the same as when you started to date.
Our Breakup Recovery Course
If you sign up for our 100-day newsletter, you get an email each day to help you through your breakup. Think of this as a mini breakup recovery bootcamp.
And don’t worry — this isn’t some half-assed email with a bunch of quotes about breakups and song lyrics about heartbreak. Instead, it asks for real work from you: to reflect on tough questions, set goals, and move forward.
We’d love to help you move on from your ex, and we think $89.95 is a steal for a 100 day activity course. Will you join all of those others who decided to reset their regrets?
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