There are a lot of “secrets” to getting your ex back floating around on the internet. And anyone who has gone through a heartbreaking breakup has probably seen them!
“Get him to beg for you back.”
“Our trusted guides will teach you how to get your ex to come crawling back — permanently.”
“This simple love spell will bring them back to you.”
It’s tempting because immediately following a breakup, it’s pretty normal to want your ex back — to want everything to go back to the way it was before. So the idea of being able to hit reset and find a way to tempt them back is appealing and intense.
Repeat after us: your ex might come back, but an ebook or an email isn’t going to teach you how to entice them.
(But we think deep down, you already knew that.)
What Getting Your Ex Back Advice Sounds Like
We got curious, so we went looking for some of these sites and signed up. We bought the emails and ebooks so you don’t have to! Honestly, save your money — but we’ll get to that part in a minute.
In most cases, these are an email subscription and sometimes an accompanying ebook. For an extra fee, you can usually get on a call with a real person, although we decided against shelling out for that.
And here’s the (excuse our French) cold, hard, shitty truth: none of them are worth a damn.
The emails sound supportive enough at first — they told us that we’re totally right, that our ex is so wrong, that they’re going to see that someday soon. It scratches that itch of vindication, and assures us of everything we want to hear. And it’s normal to want to feel understood.
How to Recognize a “Get Your Ex Back” Scam
Okay, maybe calling them “scams” is a stretch. After all, we can recognize that they aren’t quite breaking the law with their suggestions. They aren’t stealing your credit card, and most are pretty careful about the promises they make.
But they are targeting people in a world of pain, and don’t offer much in return. Sweet talking someone in the midst of heartbreak to buy a 21st century love potion might not be illegal, but we think it’s unethical.
Here are some trademark tip-offs to look out for:
They make promises they obviously can’t keep. I mean, come on. They’re going to show you the super-mega-secret way to get your ex to come crawling back on their hands and knees? Will there be a unicorn too? A good rule of thumb for most things in life: if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
They are vague about what you’re getting. What exactly is in these emails or ebooks? Secrets! Surprises! Those how-to tips you crave! But when you take a step back, you might realize that they’re not being specific about what you’re buying, and that’s not a great sign.
If you buy them, the first step is to wait. They hint that they’re going to make your ex stew, and alluding that they’re building up to some sort of reveal. But they’re not. They’re just kicking the ball further down the road. One of our editors got emails for over two months (!) that entirely consisted of a reminder to not text her ex yet. Thanks?
They teach you to obsess over your ex. A common theme among these is what your ex is doing. What they’re thinking. What they’re going to do and think after a certain amount of time without you. What they’re going to do or think when you don’t reach out. What they think about you. We’re exhausted thinking about it. Is some reflection healthy? Yes, totally. We’re not suggesting you completely avoid thinking about your ex, ever. But obsessing about them when you could be thinking about you is sure to drive someone insane.
That’s why our break-up email series is designed to help you grow personally, not worry about what your ex is doing. Might your ex come back when they see you thriving? Sure, maybe — we’re not psychics. But that’s also not the core objective here. Our goal is to help you get to a place where you can learn things from the relationship, rediscover your joy, and build a brighter future for yourself. It’s about empowerment, not driving yourself crazy.
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